Misc: One News Page Alert: From the A-Team to the Z-list

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From the A-Team to the Z-list
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Part 2: From Davina and Deeley to Joy OrbisonDANCE SHOWS Are you
dancing? Cat Deeley and Davina are askingIn 2010, Cat Deeley and
Davina McCall will go head-to-head with their own dance shows: BBC1's
So You Think You Can Dance and Sky1's Got To Dance. But which looks
better?PREMISE SYTYCD is an X Factor-style contest to find the UK's
best dancer, whereas Got To Dance is an X Factor Ã¢Â€Â¦ oh, hang on,
they're identical.WINNER It's a draw.PROMOS The Got To Dance promos
see Davina McCall recreating famous dance routines dressed in a skimpy
leotard that shows off her feminine magnificence like never before.
The SYTYCD promo is a close-up of Nigel Lythgoe's bulging amphibian
face.WINNER Davina.HOST'S SENSE OF INHIBITION Cat Deeley might have
polarised US audiences with her wayward fashion sense, but it seems
like Davina actively lobbied to wear that leotard. The woman is
dangerously uninhibited.WINNER DavinaFINAL WINNER Nobody. Certainly
not the viewing public.EIGHTIES REMAKES The Karate Kid, Wall Street
and Tron get fresh againThe music and fashion industries have finished
rummaging through the 1980s dressing-up box, so now it's cinema's turn
to wind the clock back. Alongside the A-Team (see A), there's a
China-friendly remake of The Karate Kid with Jaden son of Will Smith
as the apprentice of Jackie Chan's retired master Ã¢Â€Â" in Beijing. Then
snap your red braces for Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Money Never
Sleeps, in which generosity is the new greed, as Michael Douglas's
Gordon Gekko, now a reformed character, helps rookie trader Shia
LaBeouf (isn't he always the rookie?) thwart evil banker Josh Brolin
and avert a global financial meltdown. But the most welcome 1980s
throwback is Tron Legacy, a sequel to the cult computer adventure that
first showed us what cyberspace might look like: a new-rave version of
Gladiators where everyone spoke BASIC. This time, Jeff Bridges's son
is sucked into the perilous, neon-lined virtual world looking for his
father, 25 years after his disappearance. Expect upgraded light cycle
action, Michael Sheen and a Daft Punk soundtrack.FOUR LIONS Chris
Morris takes on daft terroristsPutting the ha in jihad, Chris Morris
tackles his most controversial subject to date: wannabe suicide
bombers. Set in the godless north of England, the film aims to prove
that while terrorism might be about ideology, it's also about idiots.
According to Warp Films, Four Lions (previously known as Boilerhouse)
understands how terrorism relates to testosterone. It understands
jihadis as human beings. And it understands human beings as innately
ridiculous. As part of his research Morris spoke to terrorism experts,
imams, police and Muslim community workers. And as he describes it
himself, the film shows the Dad's Army side to terrorism.GLEE Don't
stop believing! Sing and geek outE4's Glee is a mixture of Freaks And
Geeks, The X Factor, High School Musical and Alexander Payne's
Election. It's also currently the biggest phenomenon on US TV. Mixing
pop tunes with the lives and loves of a high school glee club and
their teachers, it's grade A (cappella) TV.HURTS Watch out electro
girls. Here come 2010's moody electro boysIf 2009 was all about female
singers aiming to do the Molly Ringwald dance, 2010 will be about the
gents who are scared of daylight but handy with recording equipment.
First up are Manchester duo Hurts, AKA Theo and Adam. Stepping out of
the internet shrubbery, they've combined a love of Arthur Baker,
tailored suits and tales of fractured, suicidal love over the Severn
Bridge to form Hurts (album out May). Other menfolk who will leave you
woozy from their spacey dream-pop include Washed Out's Ernest Greene
who's been blowing minds with his blissed-out lo-fi atmospherics.
There's more slowly melting synthy rapture via krauty east Londoner
Kindness, and finally, LA's one-man OMD Active Child, AKA Pat Grossi,
whose layered, hymnal voice over sparse beats, is gently
sob-worthy.INDIA SEASON Gordon Ramsay does SlumdogWrapping a load of
content around the premiere of Slumdog Millionaire, Channel 4's Indian
Winter season includes a Mumbai edition of Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire, a tribute to composer AR Rahman, Gordon Ramsay tasting
the local food and Kevin McCloud on a trip to the mile-long Dharavi
slums, home to 1 million people.JOY ORBISON Ã¢Â€Â¦ and dubstep's next
generationThe ecstatic peal of Hyph Mngo, Joy Orbison's dancefloor
slayer from last summer, was the sound of dubstep turning its frown
upside down. Real name Peter O'Grady, Joy Orbison grew up close enough
to dubstep's Croydon heartland to understand the power of the hefty
bass wobble, but his productions also invest the genre with a hearty
shot of classic house euphoria. As well as Joy Orbison's Hot Flush
labelmates Scuba and Mount Kimbie, look out for the lush emoto-step of
Martyn, TRG, Ramadanman and Pangaea, the playful squelch of Untold,
Geiom, Shortstuff and Brackles, and Bristolians Joker, Ginz, Gemmy and
Baobinga.